Word: swimming
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Dates: during 1940-1949
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Varsity swimmers will compete against three former Crimson captains in the traditional pre-season alumni meet this Saturday. Jack Colony '37, Bob Fallon '32, and Russell Greenhood '39 will swim for the grads in an informal meet, limited to short races to give out-of-condition grads an even chance...
...program is scheduled to include a workout and a swim or shower, all in the space of an hour. The classes will be run daily except Saturday and Sunday...
When his apparatus is working right, Dr. Kreutzer claims that fish swim to their deaths as if bewitched. The Herr Doktor turns on the current; the fish point dutifully toward the electrode. When he makes the current sing its pied-piper song, the fish wiggle and waggle in time with the subtle pulses. Glassy-eyed and helpless, they swim toward the electrode which leads to the frying...
Properly timed, thinks Dr. Kreutzer, the singing current would even catch whales, forcing them to swim right up to the maw of a whale ship. When the whales arrived, he suggests, the current could be intensified, stunning them temporarily. Then the whalers or whale inspectors could measure each leviathan, noting its sex and its depth of blubber. Large, fat males could be hauled aboard. The young, the thin and the female could be set free with the crew's apologies...
...only way which presently seems open is that of postcoital artificial insemination between spouses . . . What medical science does [in such cases] is to further pump or inject the semen, coitally deposited, right into the external os, into the cervical canal, hoping that the teeming millions of injected spermatozoa may swim their way up ... to meet an ovum.. This method, utilized to aid nature, might obtain the moralist's permission...