Word: rustlers
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...Scotland Yard Police Officer Roy Riggs, on the theft of more than 1000 pigeons from Trafalgar Square in London. The pigeon rustler apparently told bystanders that he was collecting them for pigeon races-a popular sport in England. Scotland Yard thinks the pilfered birds' destination are probably pigeon pie platters...
Soon, however, Levi will be in a serious shoot-out for supremacy in jeans. Last week VF, the manufacturer of Lee jeans, which account for an estimated 14% of U.S. sales, announced a plan to merge with Blue Bell. Its Wrangler and Rustler brands hold some 10% of the market. The new company will thus command roughly the same market share as Levi...
...Rustler's Rhapsody is an old-west camp comedy that slowly unfolds the tale of Rex(Tom Berenger) and his sidekick Pete (G.W. Bailey). Rex travels the desert looking for bad guys in black hats to gunfight. He never kills them; he just shoots the guns out of their hands. (Guns don't kill people; guns kill guns.) Rex, because he is a good guy, always wins. But the bad guys, because they are let off, always come back. Ad infinitam. It is Rex's karma. An endless circle. Yin-yang, Yawn...
There is not one honest, blue-collar type laugh in all of Rustler's Rhapsody. Director Hugh Wilson presents us with such a ridiculous wild west world that the movie becomes too stupid to be funny. Wilson interjects too many anachronisms into the dialogue and uses too many stupid sight gags. "I hold a copyright on that one," asserts Rex upon finding Pete singing by the fire. In another scene Rex and Pete fall off a cliff. Then we get to see Rex's horse dance. After a while--long about 20 minutes--the jokes wear thin...
Perhaps the humorless simplicity of the movie lies in the fact that it was rated PG. The makers of the movie tried to cater to the child audience and the older crowd, but they sacrificed basic, good B-moviemaking in the process. Rustler's Rhapsody tries to sell itself so hard that it sells itself short. The wild west madcap parody is a building block which just cannot support such a deadweight movie. Without more, Rustler's Rhapsody becomes about as funny as a herd of cattle in Spurr, Texas...